August and September (an update)...plus a tale of two months

Well, today marks 3 months as a family of 5.  Laugh at me or not, but it really took me almost the whole first month to realize that this family of five included three kids aged 4 and under.  It was chaotic, but not like what I expected after hearing people around me (whose kids are close in age and whom like to throw those type of statistics around :) talk about the craziness that ensues.  I don't know...maybe it's called lower expectations, or a more easy going nature, or maybe just not expecting so much out of myself or the kids themselves except for them to be themselves, learn how to share space/toys with each other, and allowing them each to adjust at their own pace.

In the last month, Luke has made great strides and shows great pride in his "big brother" role, plus he turned 5!  He really enjoys telling people about how he is a big brother now and him and I have had many conversations about why the girls are living with us now; the possibility that the girls could eventually go back home; how he would help and why we can't help their mom and dad;  and how he never wants the girls to leave now.  If you were around the first two months, you know that during that time there were many conversations that went "I love my little sisters" one minute to "I don't like having little sisters! Send them back!" the next so he has made tremendous progress! :)  He also started kindergarten in August and as with everything...it has taken time for him to transition, but we just came off of our first WHOLE good week so we're hoping that he is finally settling back in to routine again...what more could a mom ask for! :)

Big sis (age 2 1/2) has made so many subtle, but great strides since coming to live with us that my heart just swells with pride for her!  When she arrived, she maybe had 10-20 words and everything resulted in a scream/tantrum with the word "MINE!" yelled at the top of lungs!  Every.single.thing went in her mouth (no matter how gross!) and she was constantly spitting at Luke.  Let's just say I was so caught up in their arrival, the changes taking place, controlling interactions between all of the kids and trying to make sure I was doing everything (paperwork/appointments) that I was supposed to do, that I was not completely aware of just how tremendously behind she was with regards to her behaviors.  After the first meeting with a screener (about 1 1/2 weeks in), it became quite obvious to me...and then after several more meetings with other screeners, it was even more obvious, but by that point she had already begun to make loads of progress.  Oh, she is still behind in many areas, but the girl can share when she wants to now; she can and does use the word please now (and sometimes even without prompting); there is still occasional spitting, but nowhere near like it was; she no longer screams at every drop of a hat; she has learned to give hugs to say she's sorry; she has added several more words to her vocabulary; she can do our block puzzles without becoming instantaneously frustrated AND I watched her do one all by herself this week!; she LOVES books; she has one of the prettiest smiles and she loves to cuddle/give hugs...what more could a mom ask for! :)

Little sis (age 1...she celebrated a birthday the day after Luke's!) started out so sweet (and she still is, of course), but is starting to show her spunky side too!  She has gone from a 10 month old girl who was a good crawler, but much preferred to be held any chance she got (and would just cry until someone picked her up).  Normally, I would not have given in every time, but due to the trauma they were initially experiencing caused by all of the changes they experienced in the course of a few days...I knew it was better to just pick her up, comfort her, and make her feel safe/secure than to assume I was caving in to a tantrum at that point in time.  Once she knew, we weren't leaving her and she wasn't leaving us anytime soon...she became great friends with the floor! :)  I witnessed her shocked/scared reaction to pulling herself up in her crib for the first time and the girl has never looked back!  She has learned to crawl up the stairs, is not afraid of trying to get to any place she wants to get to, she can climb into sister's bed, and she just took her first couple steps without holding on yesterday!  Of course, I placed her on her feet just a few feet away from me and started clapping for her to come to me...so it might have been somewhat "staged" but she did do it and she did it again several times!  I could tell by the look on her face that she thought it was fun, but she is also just not quite brave enough to do it by herself yet!  She is a sweetie, lots of fun, and can always make the rest of smile...what more could a mom ask for! :)

AUGUST:
Hot, Dry, and Bugs!
The drought continued on around here and our house was descended upon by bugs of various kinds.  The first week brought the discovery of bugs in the hair, so I battled lice for the first two weeks of the month.  The second week brought the girls getting sick with a fever for 4-5 days (as we continued the battle against lice)...it also brought some lovely visits to the doctor and hospital by myself with all three children in tow.  I was frazzled, but I'm sure that we were quite comical at times too.  I just kept telling the doctor that the "circus" had arrived.  The third week brought the start of school and Luke being sick on the first full day of school!  We thought we were in the clear the last week, but on the final day of August Luke got sent home sick from school (he was NOT actually sick come afternoon time) and little sis (on her birthday, nonetheless) got sent home sick from daycare with a 102 degree temp in the afternoon.  We already had a follow up appointment set for that afternoon so that part worked out fine, but the nice surprise was the doctor sending us back to the hospital for other tests.  Needless to say, both of these children were perfectly fine by the next morning, aka, September!

SEPTEMBER:
Wetter, Cooler, and Healthy!
If there could be such a thing as a completely opposite month, this month would be August's opposite.  Everyone stayed healthy the whole month (granted we do still have tomorrow left!)  It rained on the very first day of September and for the first several days...I give all the credit to the rain :)  I swear it washed away all of the bugs that were floating around in the dust outside-that's my theory anyway!  It has been a nice month-I  wonder what October has in store...hopefully only good things!

I Made It! Such a relief...well, sort of!

Long lost blog readers!  Remember me, probably not...remember my last post, probably not...well I'll give you a minute to scroll back down and give it another read if you'd like.  Don't worry, I'll wait...

waiting...

waiting...

waiting...

Oh good!  You came back!  Thanks! :)

Well, I think God read that post and LAUGHED at me.  Not just a giggle, but a great big old belly LAUGH!

I am so happy to say that I finished up with my last day of class yesterday, but my brain hasn't caught up yet because it keeps wondering what homework I need to be doing right now and then it remembers and says "WHEEEEWWWW!" I'm DONE! :)

Now back to that laugh...later that same day (of my near drowning post) we received a call from DCFS asking if we would take not 1, but 2 little girls (2 year old and 10 month old) for a long term placement!  (I'm pretty sure He was thinking~lady you haven't see anything yet!)

I was extremely nervous about taking them, only because I still had 3 weeks of classes left to get through including a major research project), but I also knew that "3 weeks" was a short-term problem not a "forever"  problem.

We accepted and our lives have already been blessed in many ways by these two girls' presence in our lives!   For me, it brought almost instaneous "healing" from the residual effects of infertility and a feeling of this is where we should have been all along.  For Luke, it brought "sisters" (although he is now beginning to realize that he may not have had it so bad being here by himself ;)

For Scott, it gave him a week of being a "stay-at-home" dad instead of a week of vacation :)

We have also gotten a lot of questions/comments about "how is it going's" and "I bet you're a lot busier now's"

To answer the first question, going from 1 to 3 kids, to be perfectly honest, felt like the most natural thing in the world.  Yes, there are more fights, especially when a 2 year old gets thrown into the mix, but I can't really say that it has been much "harder" than Luke all by himself is at times.  It's always better when we can get simultaneous tantrums going...then everyone gets it out of their system at the same time! :)  The biggest problem has been my own self-induced sleep deprivation due to many late nights completing assignments paired with Luke's early (5:30-6 a.m.) wake ups and that would have been happening whether the girls were here or not.  It has been hard at times, but it has also been very good too!

To answer the second comment, I always think "Ummm, have you never met my boy Luke?!"  He is busy enough all on his own...just ask anyone who has ever babysat for us! :)  Honestly, the two girls together are still easier than my dear, sweet Luke all by himself at times.  So, other than much more laundry and actually having to keep on top of my dishes, it's really not too much "busier" around here either! :)

Today marks three weeks of being a family of five and the plan is to just keep enjoying all of them while we've got them!  Because, really, aren't all of children just on loan to us from God anyway?  

Welcome to our family Bis Sis and Little Sis!  We love you!

Whew!!!!

Just coming up for a momentary breather!

The last couple of weeks have left me feeling like I am just barely treading water.  My summer classes have started and besides the long days away from home, there has been quite a bit of homework to do every evening too along with busy, busy weekends.  One class will be ending next week, but until then...I still have a lot of work to get done within the next week!  I will not deny that I am very much looking forward to that class dropping so that I can actually have my mornings at home back again...at least until school starts back up again!

Classes are going well and I haven't drowned yet, so I'll "just keep swimming" and look forward to next Thursday and getting some time back!  (Until then, please don't judge my house or my eating habits! ;)

Until my next "breather"!

"Why not do I have..."

*This post may go places that cause some readers (if I have any left ;) much discomfort and for that I apologize, but it IS true to form of what has been happening in our little world as of late.  You've been warned! :)

This is how many of Luke's questions start out when he can't have something that he wants.  I usually like answering his questions, but as of late his BIG question has been stirring up lots of things that I thought I had a fairly good handle on as of recent years.

Over the past month or so, the ending to his question is "...a brother or sister to play with?  I want one!"

WHAM!  Infertility has stuck its ugly head up again and it came at me in the body of an almost 5 year old.

It gets even better when the question comes in this form..."Mom, do you have a baby in your belly?"  I always say "No, my body hasn't ever done that or worked that way."  To which he replies, "Get one in your belly Mom! "Why not can you get one?"

Oh how I wish this terrible thing would only have ever affected Scott and me...I hate that it's ugly fingers are now affecting my child!

I tell him how blessed we are to have him and that he has cousins who he can treat like brothers and sisters, but  when time with any of them is too far and in between, even ones who live close, he doesn't really buy it.  Plus, they all have their own siblings and with that comes him naturally being held at a different status by them...he is a "cousin" not a "brother" even though he himself would love for that feeling to be different on everyone else's part.

It hurts when he sooo wants someone else to play with (besides me of course :) and there just aren't any good options at these points most of the time.  Either people with kids around the same age aren't home; or the parents are at work/kids at daycare; or it comes up late in the day and going to a friend's house would take a bit of a drive which would mean getting there around supperish time, or a spur of the moment type of play date is not overly welcomed due to schedule conflicts, etc, etc, etc.

There also seems to be an abundance of pregnancies announcements/births, as of late, which are wonderful things to celebrate, but which also takes us back to his second question and why I don't have a baby in my belly.   He tells me "it's not fair" and "[insert name here] don't need another brother or sister.  [insert name here] already has one...can I have it?"  or "Can [insert baby's name here] be my brother/sister too?"

How do you explain to a 4 1/2 year old that the world just doesn't seem fair sometimes and that sometimes there is just not a whole heck of a lot you can do about it?!

I'm so glad that he is growing up, but I hate that he is now getting big enough that our grownup problems can now in their own unique way upset him too!

I'm sure there are many benefits to being an only child, but being forced to be/have an only child due to infertility is definitely NOT one of them.  Sorry bud!

Thank You Mom!

Thank You for...

*always being there when we need you most...

*printing off all of the pictures on your camera and giving us even the most random ones..."well your elbow was in it so I thought you might like it"...of course, I am kidding with that line...but the "random" ones are sometimes the best ones too or at the very least-good for a laugh...

*showing us that life is about helping others, not just serving ourselves/our own agendas, although you may grumble from time to time about it-you still always step up to help others whenever they ask it of you...

*demonstrating for us that church is just a natural extension of our lives by showing what it means to serve it and that it is not just an obligation that we are supposed to fulfill each week-even though we may have grumbled about this one from time to time as kids :) ...

*loving your grandkids and always welcoming them into your heart and home...

*all the times you remember to tell all of us girls about things, instead of telling 1 or 2 or us something 3 different times and forgetting to tell one of us ;) ...

*babysitting!!! ...

*being you!

We love you! :)

Happy Mother's Day!

My name is...

(or has been)...

"Anita"

"Anita Jean"

"Neet"

"Anita P"

"Mom"

"Aunt Anita"

"Mrs. S."

and most recently added to the list...

"Luke's Mom"

It feels strange walking around school being referred to as "Luke's Mom" by the littlest people in the building and not "Mrs. S", but it also feels really nice! :)  Luke never attended a 'daycare' and the kids he always played with were either cousins, friends' kids, or kids from church...all of whom called me by something else on the list above so this has been a new experience for me.

It's a name I am very proud to carry! :)

Animal Farm

It seems that this is what we are becoming.  Technically, our house is sitting on the place that was always the "family farm", but it hasn't really been much of a "farm" farm for many years now, however, if Luke has his way...it may just get there again someday.

I would just love to hear someone try to argue that my child does not LOVE animals.  Since Scott and I have lived here, we have always had cats.  Do they get much of the glory that comes with being a "pet cat"?  No, at least not from us.  They help keep the mice at bay and they are pretty much free to go on as they please.  We keep them fed and watered...then they're somewhat on they're own.  Luke, on the other hand, refers to these cats as his "kitty friends", "catty friends", or "my buddies" on most occasions and insisted that they have a house, despite the fact that they can get into the old house or any of the sheds/barn/old buildings on the property.  So, last fall, Scott built them a house and we painted it.

Scott has always had a deep fondness for rabbits and finally got back into raising them a year ago in February. As expected, Luke took to them immediately and has been loving on the new litters of baby rabbits that we've had.

Then last August, we decided to add a dog to the mix, Chester.  Appropriately enough, we picked him up on the day of Luke's 4th birthday!  He loves the dog and even had to open the van door before we left for town today, just to say goodbye to Chester.

I write about all of this because today we picked up a fish.  Luke has been wanting one for quite awhile and we used this as an incentive for helping with things around the house.  He finally earned it yesterday and today we brought home a fish!  As I've said before, Luke LOVES it!

When I remembered that we also have a can of worms sitting on the porch (he brought them home from the sitter's and we're hoping to use them for fishing at some point), which we refer to as our "worm farm" and he refers to as his "worm friends" I decided that I better write about our ever growing "farm" before the next animal arrives...whatever that may be! :)

And when I say that Luke loves all of these things, I mean he loves them.  He always refers to them as "my [insert type of animal here] friends" and is constantly trying to give them hugs and kisses.  I would not even be shocked to find out one night that he tried to give one of his "worm friends" a kiss and tell it goodnight.  He also always makes sure that all of these animals know he will miss them too, if he is leaving.
He is nothing if not sweet!  That's for sure! :)

So...quite by accident, we are apparently becoming some sort of animal farm, I guess! ;)