I have always been a fairly positive person...able to see the bright side even in the most frustrating or dire situations, but this year seems to finally have caught up to me!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm still positive, but that being said...I am more than happy to watch 2020 go right on out the door too.
I was holding my own until these past 3-4 months. Things that did me in...
1) My grandma dying and getting to bury her and say final goodbyes on my 40th birthday.
I was honestly looking forward to turning 40 and not dreading it like many, but having my beloved grandma's funeral on the same day was TOUGH. I'm also not a crybaby (although I realize how ironic this must seem as I am complaining at the moment.) I am grateful for the close friends that did help me celebrate the next day as my own family here at home barely acknowledged my day.
2) Working my butt off thinking that I would still have the ability to improve myself within the messed up teacher evaluation system. I had been doing lots of extra things in the Spring while we were shutdown to stay connected to my students. I had not complained even once about anything we were asked to do due to the health department restrictions/pandemic concerns. I was trying to make school feel like a safe and special place while still sticking to the rigors of our curriculum as much as possible. Then my balloon was deflated because of one/two pieces of the evaluation system that just cannot be done right now because of those said restrictions and had to settle for just receiving the same grade as before. It was very defeating for someone who is always trying to better herself and her teaching to know that it did not matter one iota what I did or didn't do...I could not "improve".
3) Getting put on quarantine with my family just as December started. December is one of the best times to be a first grade teacher and I missed my class terribly. My own kids missed their teachers and friends terribly. Then just as we were to be able to return...my whole school switched to remote learning which means we've been home since December 1st. WE MISS OUR PEOPLE!!!
On the plus side, hmmm, you didn't think I could actually leave such a negative post for the world to read did you?
My family did give me a brand new laptop for Christmas...just mine...can you believe it?!? So, I anticipate visiting this space much more regularly because writing has always been very therapeutic for me and if it brings someone else just a bit of joy-even better.
I am so looking forward to 2021 and all that it might bring, although, I do wish my grandma was still here to share it with as I miss her terribly, but getting back to school, friends, and students will help immensely. I also have great hope now that the vaccine is being distributed, cannot wait to get mine, and am grateful that my job qualifies me to be one of the early "eligible" candidates to receive it!
Adios 2020, Glad you're leaving!!!
