Thursday, February 5, 2009

Friend or Foe?

Mommy Guilt!~I don't like it!

I try to avoid it at all costs. I try to use my best judgement when it comes to making a choice that will affect Luke. I tell myself that I have thought about my choices so I can choose not to suffer from the guilt that follows if I make the wrong choice. So far in my parenting career, I feel that I have made okay choices-Luke is turning into one fine little toddler :), I've felt some of the guilt when things have gone wrong in the moment, but overall I think that Scott & I have done the best that we can do for our little guy & we expect it to continue even if occasionally, we do (& will) mess up.

The only reason I bring this up is because the last two nights I have not been home to help put Luke to bed & I've really only maybe seen him (awake) a couple of hours total. Between work & other obligations, I just wasn't home much yesterday & then again today during the day, however, tonight was a different story. I chose to go to a "book club" meeting with a few of my coworkers. Yes, I was home early, but not early enough, since Luke goes to bed super early in the evenings. I told myself that I wouldn't feel guilty about it because it was something I was doing for myself & as a parent we don't always get that unless we choose to make time for it. I was looking forward to it, but had debated about whether or not to go, since I had spent all day yesterday & today at work & then last night teaching religion to kids at church & not with my son. Can you feel the guilt creeping in...? Anyway, I told myself that "no, I wasn't going to feel guilty" because I had read this book awhile back with the intention of going, but the meeting date kept getting pushed back because of the inclement weather we have been having. Basically, they were finally having the meeting & I had been waiting for 2 or 3 weeks already & I was going WITHOUT the guilt until...

I looked into those excited little eyes when I got home from work today & saw the huge smile plastered across his face when I walked in the door.

Oh, I still went, but I was definitely loaded up with HEAPS of mommy guilt as I went out the door tonight! Luke is definitely in for some quality mommy time tomorrow night & I can't wait!!! :)

1 comment:

Jamie said...

I feel this all the time and I wish I could figure out the magic cure. Even just the few hours a day that my mom watches Bo so I can work make me feel guilty. Definitely one of the things I hate the most about being a mom.